Ben and Kate Tie the Knot

Introducing... our groomsmen (written by guest blogger, Ben)!

2009-08-26T08:21:00.000-07:00

(Pictures, clockwise, from above: JR Peacock, Ben and Ray Lyons in younger days; Ben and Ben Anderson on a memorable "camping" trip, sorry, Rondo, I couldn't resist posting this. Pics of our brothers are on their way!!)

THE GROOMSMEN...by Ben Stahl

Andy Stahl
Andy is my only brother. We met in the '80s during the Regan administration. Andy always has, and always will, be a gift giver. He held true to form at our first meeting; he was 3.5 and I was 1 month. Andy gave me his new truck and crayons. Ever since that first thoughtful gift, I have known I am incredibly lucky to have a brother with such a big heart, someone to share family experiences with and fully understand all things Stahl.

Ray Lyons
I met Ray for the first time at Mango’s Pizza in Orland Park, IL, when we were 16 years old. Several months later I would find out that Ray was in route to 'kick my ass' with another groomsman (over a girl, that was then, and now, not worth it). I am happy to say that the ass kicking never came to fruition, but instead we have come of age together, traveling the world, buying real-estate and continuing to eat pizza.

Mike Rondinella
Mike was coming with Ray to kick my ass. Again, I am equally glad that Mike’s plan didn’t see its way through. Mike and I have eaten more meals and watched more TV together than any two men should. Through these countless hours, I've come to appreciate Mike for his level-headed nature (which plays an excellent complement to my dramatic and spastic personality) sincere loyalty and genuine friendship.

JR Peacock
I met JR on a beach, and we’ve continued to hang out on beaches ever since. JR, like me, can’t sit still. When you find someone that similarly switches topics ever 12 seconds and anxiously motor boats their leg while looking around the room, you can’t help but to make them your friend (or at least, I couldn't). JR, without a doubt, has to be credited for encouraging me to travel the world, try new things and stay out later than I had planned, so thanks JR.

Ben Anderson
Ben and I met our freshman year at the University of Iowa on the 12th floor of Reinow Hall. The 12th floor was, and still is, an academic quiet floor (what were we thinking?). The only good thing to come of that floor was our friendship. We became more formal roommates during our senior year. I often say that nothing bad comes from Iowa. Throughout the years I've been friends with Ben he has done nothing but reinforce my beliefs in those corn-fed saints.

Andrew Templin
I’ve known Andrew just as long as I’ve know Kate, well actually a few days less, seeing as he as out of town during my first visit to their condo. I’ve come to appreciate Andrew as an intellectual, a friend and now as a brother-in-law. I know you can’t choose your family, but I am glad Andrew ended up in mine.

Serious wedding eye candy

2009-08-11T11:19:00.001-07:00

I am in loooove with this wedding...see more on photographer The Nichols' blog.

Wedding chicks!

2009-08-07T07:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry I've been a little absent this week. It's been a busy one at work, and we've had a little lull in wedding planning. We did find out this week that Oliver Winery isn't an option for our rehearsal dinner (SAD!!), since they don't rent out the space on holiday weekends. I allowed myself to be upset for about a minute, and then forced myself to move on. I know that regardless of where we have our rehearsal dinner (and we do have some great other options), it's going to be a wonderful night.

In other news, I was just picked to be a bridal blogger on WeddingChicks.com. If you haven't checked out the site, please do. It's one of the many blogs I've become obsessed with during the planning process, and I'm thrilled to be part of it. I'll be blogging there at least once a week (click here to find me), so be sure to follow me there!

totally un-wedding related...

2009-07-30T13:04:00.001-07:00

But I saw this on my amazing friend Graham Kostic's blog today, and it was exactly what I needed. It's been a stressful week, and I've been kind of down after a wonderful, relaxing vacation at the beach in Union Pier. Watching this for four minutes felt like meditating...

Kuroshio Sea - 2nd largest aquarium tank in the world - (song is Please don't go by Barcelona) from Jon Rawlinson on Vimeo.

Introducing... our wedding party!

2009-07-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

Pics with my bridesmaids, above, from top: with Amy Levell, Ben Stahl and Dan Ponce this summer; Jenny Joers/Marderosian's 2007 wedding in the Bahamas; with Courtney Marsala and Christina Caldwell at Christina's 2008 wedding in Mykonos; with Natalie Campbell in Mykonos; with Sara Eldrige/French at her 2006 wedding in St. John .

After a lot of back and forth, debate and soul searching (dramatic, but true), Ben and I decided to have a wedding party, and I couldn't be happier about it. I initially thought that not having bridesmaids and groomsmen would simplify our wedding and that our friends would prefer to come to our wedding as guests versus as an official part of the festivities. Turns out, I was wrong.

As we've gotten deeper into the planning process, I've realized that having bridesmaids not only makes a lot of sense (I need my ladies to keep me sane, not to mention bustle my dress, hold my bouquet and make sure the party is running smoothly), but it's also a wonderful way to celebrate the amazing friendships I have with six really special women, who, as it turns out, are really excited to stand up as bridesmaids... even with dresses they'll probably never wear again!

And I know Ben feels the same way about having his best friends and our brothers standing up with him. One of my girlfriends (and now bridesmaids) said that asking your friends to stand up to bear witness to your marriage is a sacrament and an honor, and I know that she's right. The women I've asked to be in my wedding have supported me throughout every stage of my life and I know they'll be there to help me through the next one...and all the stages after that.

So here are the marvelous women I've asked to be part of our big day (groomsmen to come if I can convince Ben to guest blog!)...

Bridesmaids:
Christina Caldwell is my maid of honor. We met our freshman year of college when we joined the same sorority, we studied abroad together in London and we lived together senior year in college and for two years in New York. Christina is my go-to girl—the person who always is on the same page as me, who sees life the same way I do. I was so lucky to be part of her wedding to the amazing Tobias Makepeace Rando in Greece last year and Ben and I are still hoping Toby and Christina will wise up and leave NYC for Chicago someday soon.

Sara Eldridge/French is my oldest girlfriend. We became friends in sixth grade and never looked back, getting kicked out of cheerleading camp together (obviously not our fault!), living next door to each other freshman year in college, studying abroad in London, moving to New York together. Sara and I grew up together, experienced all each other's major firsts together, and although she and her husband, Garth, now live in Seattle, when we do get to see each other, we always pick up right where we left off.

Natalie Campbell and I met freshman year in college when we joined the same sorority, and I have loved her ever since. She is definitely my funniest friend—her stories are legendary—and more often than not, I'm laughing when I'm with her, but she's also incredibly strong and has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. Being around Nat is incredibly easy (and, luckily, because she lives in Chicago, I get to be around her often); she always puts me at ease, and I know she'll do the same on the big day.

Jenny Joers/Marderosian will always be Joers to me. We lived on the same floor freshman year, but we became really close when we joined the same sorority. I have countless funny memories with (and of...hahaha) Joers in Bloomington, New York, London, Chicago and at her wedding in the Bahamas, and watching what an incredible mom she's become is really an inspiration to me. Living in the same city as Jenny, her husband, Michael, and their daughter Maisy, is so much fun!

Courtney Marsala and I both went to IU, but we didn't meet until we lived in New York at the same time, and became a wild five-some with Christina, Sara and our friend Sarah Kellams. When I moved back to Chicago for grad school, I lived with Court and Amy Levell, and they also gave me a place to crash when I moved back (again) from DC. Court is a rock (who also loves to have a good time) and one of my favorite people on the planet. She has become part of my big-city family and I can't imagine life without her.

Amy Levell and I met for the first time when she was visiting Courtney in New York. She tore into town like a bat out of hell, yelling at cab drivers and cracking jokes. I instantly knew I loved her. Since then, she has become one of my closest girlfriends. We've been through so much together, and I know I can rely on her for anything—from excellent advice to a last-minute cocktail. I feel incredibly blessed to count Amy as one of my best friends. (And I also know that if anyone tries to screw up my wedding day, she and Court will lay them out.)

So there it is, my incredible, beautiful, amazing group of bridesmaids.

I've already asked a friend and local fashion designer, Elise Bergman, to make the bridesmaids dresses, so more to come on that soon!

Our photographer

2009-07-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

I am obsessed with a wedding blog called Style Me Pretty, which always features the most AMAZING, inspirational weddings. It's actually where I found our photographers, the husband-and-wife team of Jeffrey and Julia Woods. They were the first vendor I booked, mainly because I love their style: emotional, sort-of vintage-inspired and just plain beautiful.

So I was thrilled to see they have yet another wedding featured on the blog today. Can you imagine anything prettier?

We're doing our engagement shoot with them next month and I can not wait!!

Our photo booth...

2009-07-15T14:44:00.000-07:00

...is booked. I'm swamped at work this week so I've had no time to post anything, but I did manage to book the photo booth yesterday. I luvre old-school photo booths, and the company I booked it through is the closest in Indiana I could find. I'm planning on using it to create my guest book. Getting my 90-year-old grandparents in it should be interesting, but I'm determined to make it work.

Bloomington, part 1

2009-07-13T15:27:00.000-07:00

Oliver Winery

FARM Bloomington

Ben and I made it back last night from a whirlwind, amazing trip to Bloomington for our first round of official wedding planning.
Two overarching thoughts about the weekend:

1. I would be quite happy living in Bloomington.
2. I can not WAIT for our wedding.

The first part of the day Saturday was spent meeting with our wedding planning/florist, Cathy, who we all (my mom was, of course, along for the trip, too) LOVE. She's professional and experienced, but obviously still gets excited about all things wedding and is up for any challenge. My greatest concern was whether she would "get" my vision and, even more importantly, whether it would be possible to make it a reality. While there are definitely some obstacles (i.e. cathedral ceilings, installation costs, how to load a etc.), I was thrilled that instead of dismissing my paper-filled ceiling immediately, she suggested how to make it happen. By the end of the meeting, I had a huge smile.

Next we met with our point person at the Union, Bari. She takes care of all things food and drink related, plus approves all of our decor ideas (this is a historic building), works with the rental companies who will be providing our chairs and linens and more. Cathy had warned us that the Union can be pretty strict about bringing in outside vendors, and while that is the case, they are really helpful and flexible about letting you swap out things from their package (which, btw, includes 5-hrs of open bar, apps, upscale mains, dessert options plus a wedding cake for so much less than I would have EVER hoped to pay in Chicago. Yay, Bloomington!!) When I balked at Korbel champagne, she suggested I find another champagne or prosecco I like for a similar cost, and they'll get it for us. She was even driving up to Chicago to buy Sweet Mandy B's for IU to replicate for another couple.

So we left the Union knowing that our reception has the potential to be amazing.

Part 2...
where to hold every other event (rehearsal, bridesmaids--YES!--luncheon, day-after brunch, etc). Surprisingly, the options are endless and I liked EVERYTHING! My mom was pretty shocked at how agreeable I was, but truly there are so many beautiful options.

Here are two:

1. Farm Bloomington - an adorable, quirky, whimsical restaurant on the main strip that serves awesome, seasonal, organic, sustainable foods, including the bacon-and-egg pizza and fries covered in parmesan, garlic and red pepper flakes, both of which we devoured in five minutes flat on Sunday.

2. Oliver Winery - anyone who went to IU knows that Oliver is a really special place. It's a vineyard with insanely gorgeous grounds. The flowers are so lush, picnic tables line a hill that leads to a private pond, the patio is covered with an ivy-draped trellis. It's magical.

More to come tomorrow...

Honeymoon advice?

2009-07-08T12:13:00.001-07:00

Parrot Cay

One & Only Palmilla

We started talking about our honeymoon recently, and I am now spending too-much time perusing the sites of some amazing resorts. Ben and I decided the following things were important to us in a honeymoon location.

1. Beautiful beaches and water
2. Great accommodations and food
3. Privacy

I've started getting suggestions from friends and some of my fave hotel PR contacts, and so far here are the three contenders...

1. One & Only Palmilla in Mexico (gorgeous rooms and common areas, super-luxury, great food)
2. Cap Juluca in Anguilla (recently refurbished guest rooms, insane beach, super-private and relaxing)
3. Parrot Cay in Turks & Caicos (private island, gorgeous beach, pretty perfect--Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner got married at the resort, and Bruce Willis has a home there!)

We're also considering St. Barts, where my friend Korey and her husband, Ryan, just honeymooned. Any other suggestions??

The inspiration board

2009-07-07T11:08:00.001-07:00

Ben and I are headed down to Bloomington this weekend with my mom to start the wedding planning in earnest. We're meeting with our wedding planner/florist, Cathy Teeters, the catering manager at IU and our potential officiant at the church. Should be a great time, and I'm sure I'll have lots more to say when I get back next week. Until then, here's a look at the "inspiration board" I came up with this week. I am sooo in love with all the paper accents, most of which come from the latest issue of Martha Stewart Weddings, which I am OBSESSED with.

On another note, I entered an earlier incarnation of this inspiration board in a contest sponsored by Delphine and Oh So Beautiful Paper and I was told last night that I'm a finalist. There are 12 total, so I'm not getting my hopes up that I'll win the grand prize (150 letterpress save-the-dates from Delphine; I picked the Kent), especially since I think my first inspiration board wasn't quite as great as my new one, but a girl can hope!! If you go on the blog, I'm in the third group of finalists. Keep your fingers crossed.

Two other things to ponder:

1. What do you think of not having a full open bar for a wedding? Ben and I were at my parents house this weekend and started throwing around the idea of serving beer, wine and two specialty cocktails, which would be our favorite drinks (for Ben, that's a Effen vodka martini with blue cheese-stuffed olives; for me, it's champagne). My friend Graham also had this to say:

"what are you going to do for a wedding cocktail? i had the best one at National 27 the other night... it was hibiscous infused gin... a perfect pink color and topped with champagne... it was soooooooo delicious and could be really appealing if in great stemware and a little something as a stirrer... so cute. i'll get the recipe for you if you'd like."

Now I'm thinking this could be our third "big day" specialty cocktail since it would perfectly work with our color scheme, and it would put gin into the mix, too (which my best lady, Christina, would probably appreciate).

2. Also while at my parents this weekend, Ben and I started having a total change of heart about the whole wedding attendants thing. I know I posted a full diatribe about my "no bridesmaids" policy here, but I am seriously reconsidering—for a million and one reasons. More to come...

The Guest List...eek!

2009-06-23T15:00:00.001-07:00

George wanted a small wedding, and I do, too.

Ask pretty much anyone, and they'll tell you that the guest list is one of wedding planning's little time bombs. Everyone has an opinion of who you should and should not invite, and every family feels differently about it. Ben's parents are more traditionalists (i.e. all family members—cousins, second cousins, etc...—should be invited). My parents are more loose-y, goose-y. This probably has something to do with the fact that we don't have a large, extended family, and my dad, God bless him, is pretty much like George in Father of the Bride. (Am I dating myself by referencing that? I just watched the clip where the Banks family debates Annie's guest list on the link above and was dying laughing. I still remember seeing this movie with my family when I was about 11 or 12, and my dad was bawling through part of it. Foreshadowing? Probably.)

My overarching goal with the guest list can be summed up with two words: SMALL WEDDING. Now, to me, that doesn't mean 50 people. Ben and I have close families and a ton of friends, many of whom we're much closer to than we are to our cousins and aunts and uncles. (It's a byproduct of being single urbanites for the majority of our 20s. Friends become family.) The idea of not inviting all of them is just unthinkable. So my goal number became 250. If the 20 percent rule holds up—meaning 20 percent of the people you invite won't show—that means we'd have a wedding of 200, my perfect number. Not too big to be a circus, but big enough to make room for all our favorite people.

After much back and forth and basically forcing both sets of our parents to do some extreme—and at some points, pretty painful—cutting, we've arrived at a list of 261. Not perfect, but not far from it. Our closest family members, including first cousins, and yes, some second cousins, made the list, best friends and best friends of parents made the list, our closest coworkers made the list, but that's it. It was a little brutal getting there, but I am so happy we did.

P.S. In other news, my mom rented out the entire Grant Street Inn for the weekend of the wedding. This is a super exciting development because the Inn is adorable, and it's big enough (24 rooms) to house our closest friends and family members, and yet it's only a few blocks from the Union, where the majority of our guests will be staying.

The great bridesmaid debate

2009-06-18T14:46:00.000-07:00

I have been an official bridesmaid three times—only two of the times I had to buy a match-y dress—and an unofficial maid of honor once in my best friend Christina's wedding in Greece (attendants are not standard in Greek culture). Considering I'm 30, I'd say that's getting off pretty easily.

One of my best friends has been a bridesmaid in no fewer than 15 weddings—I'm actually making that number up, but it sounds about right—and I can't remember one time when she was really overjoyed about being asked... especially when it got to around number 10. At that point I'd say she got a little pissed. Of course she wanted to support her good friends and celebrate their "finding the one," but all that celebration can come with a hefty price tag. Yes, being a bridesmaid is an honor, but it's a very expensive one.

Any good friend getting married—whether you're a bridesmaid or not—comes with costs: hotel rooms, bridal showers, engagement parties, dinners out to celebrate, etc. And, for the most part, those expenses happily incurred, mostly because all of those things are fun for the bride and for her friends. The one cost that NO ONE likes: the bridesmaid's dress (you can add to that the bridesmaid's sash, shoes, accessories, hair appointment, makeup appointment, etc, if your friend really goes over the top).

And I just don't want to make my friends pay for a dress that they'll never wear again (and trust me, no one ever wears the dress again). I love clothes, and I'd like to think I have decent taste, but it's really, really hard to find a cute bridesmaid dress for less than $300. Even J.Crew is inching up to that price point. I did think about letting them pick their own in a color range, but let's face it, I'm way too big of a control freak for that.

So my solution: Don't have bridesmaids.

I love my girlfriends so much that I could literally write a book about it (and someday, I might), but I don't think that I need to make them buy a pink cocktail dress to prove it. I've looked at this from every angle, and I think it's the option that makes the most sense for me. Although I wasn't officially Christina's lady in waiting, I still did all the things I would have had I been. I planned a bachelorette party, went to showers, etc. And I did them all because I wanted to, not because I felt obligated by a title.

The decision not to have attendants has been met with varying results. Another one of my best friends was not pleased and vocal about it (one of the many, many reasons I love her is her brutal honesty!). Ben was fine with it, as he is with pretty much all of my wedding decisions. My future mother-in-law (who I also love, by the way) seemed a little confused.

So, as of now, we're going attendant free. I'm thinking Ben's parents and his brother will walk down the aisle, my brother will walk my grandparents and my mother down, and then my dad and I will follow.

I am really happy with the decision because I think it's going to lower stress for everyone. My friends won't be out $400 for a sorta-cute dress and the wedding will feel less circus-y for me. I still want my "unofficial" bridesmaids to help me get ready on the day and to attend the rehearsal dinner, and I do want to ask a couple of close friends—one my "unofficial" little sister, Hillary, and the other my "unofficial" boyfriend, Graham (read: he will most likely be bringing his own boyfriend to the wedding--fingers crossed, Graham!!)

So what do you think? Does not having a wedding party make it less of, well, a party?

Just because this makes me happy...

2009-06-11T12:01:00.001-07:00

A blog backlash??

2009-06-11T11:36:00.000-07:00

After receiving a couple of less-than positive comments about my "indie wedding" posting, I felt the need to do a little self-examination and explanation.

I started this blog as an online diary to chronicle this exciting, happy time in my life. I have kept diaries on and off throughout my life but I've never been great about it. Hand fatigue, life fatigue, etc, have always won out over consistency. But this is a stage in the great (and not so great) history of Kate that I would really like to remember—and I have the world's worst memory. Usually I don't mind, but I think it would be nice to have a record of my feelings during this year of engagement. So many of my friends have advised me to consciously enjoy it, as it is so wonderful—and so fleeting.

So what I write here might not always be polished and sweet, just as I am not always polished or sweet, and just as what I have written in past diaries is never polished and is rarely sweet. It's top-of-mind, free-flowing stuff that might reveal some of my MANY imperfections. I can only ask my few readers to take what I write with a grain of salt. Those of you who know me know my heart is in the right place and what I care about at the end of the day is making myself and my family—including Ben—happy.

I know the rest is fluff—but as I've been working full-time as a fluff follower for the past five years, I sometimes forget how inconsequential it all is.

Wedding crashing

2009-06-09T08:48:00.000-07:00

Ben and I ran our first wedding-related errand on Saturday night: We crashed a stranger's wedding to check out a potential wedding band.

I've been a bit nervous about the whole band thing because, first of all, music is the only thing Ben really cares about when it comes to our reception, and second, bands are incredibly pricey. The band we saw on Saturday isn't cheap, but they're based in Indiana, which means we don't have to pay to put up 12 people the wedding night or pay any kind of travel premium. (I called a couple of bands from Chicago, and while they were more than willing to travel, we would have paid double what we budgeted.)

After checking out their website, Ben was less than enthused, and I got worried that music might lead to our first wedding fight. Luckily, before it came to that, I talked to one of my best buds Courtney, whose sister was married in Indianapolis a couple of years ago, and, lo and behold, had used the same band, which Courtney assured us was not cheesy beyond the normal scope of wedding bands (Ben's biggest fear).

So we went in to this random wedding in Orland Park—actually less than a mile away from where Ben grew up—optimistically. And, thankfully, we walked out with a band. Slightly cheesy, yes; fun, absolutely. Now we're moving onto creating the ultimate iPod playlist for our dinner music. Any suggestions?

Indie in Indiana?

2009-06-08T10:05:00.001-07:00

Traditional and Romantic v. Modern and Eclectic

So breakdown might be a bit of a stretch, but I have been having a few moments of wedding dread. I'm not talking about marriage dread. I am so excited to spend the rest of my life with Ben, and there's not one part of me that thinks I will ever, ever regret marrying him. The real question is will I regret having a big, traditional wedding.

Those of you who know me know that, in many ways, I am not a super-traditional person. I have no problem with being 30 and unmarried. I love children but am not in a rush to have my own (Ben keeps reminding me that my clock is ticking, but I still feel 25). So, in some ways, having the usual, six-bridesmaids, 300-guest, sit-down-dinner wedding feels inauthentic to me.

I work in a creative job. I love fashion and am not afraid to try new styles, I'm addicted to home design and my condo is home to two large bronze deer (thanks, Ben), a million prints I found on etsy (including a custom-made portrait of my adorable fiance and myself) and through the sadly deceased Domino mag and, hopefully soon, some amazing Cole & Sons wallpaper. Bottom line: I like to think of myself as eclectic... and, okay, kind of cool (though I'm aware that saying that means I'm totally not).

And I want my wedding to feel the same way. Romantic and sort-of indie and not like everyone else's. Only I also want to get married in Bloomington, Indiana (creative, yes, a beacon of modern design, no) with all of my family and Ben's family and our amazing friends in attendance. That means: big wedding in Indiana (i.e. not so indie).

I had a small meltdown yesterday after watching Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck get married on a boat with five people on He's Just Not That Into You. Not because that's what I want but because it seemed so simple. Very few decisions to make. Luckily, I have the world's best Ben and he talked me off the ledge by pointing out something very simple: There's really no one on "my" list that I don't want at my wedding. And being surrounded by all of our best friends and family is exactly what I do want.

So crisis averted... for now. Next up: The small things I'm thinking will take my wedding from circus to celebration.

An engagement-moon?

2009-06-02T08:57:00.000-07:00

Ben and I love to travel to new places. They don't have to be exotic or expensive; for my 30th birthday, we took a 1,700 mile roadtrip to Asheville, North Carolina, the Smoky Mountains and Nashville, Tennessee, and we had a blast. A couple of years ago, we started a Valentine's Day tradition of renting a cabin in the tiny town of Nashville, Indiana, 20 minutes outside of Bloomington, and it's become one of my favorite weekends of the year—despite the fact that Nashville is more biscuits and gravy than caviar and bubbly. (If you ever make it there, try the Hob Nob, where everything is made with more butter than I cook with in a year. Ben loves it.)

Sure, we've been on grander trips to Greece and to Mexico together, but some of my favorite travel memories are just of the two of us holed up in a little cabin or spending six hours talking on the road. (It helps that Ben refuses to let me drive anywhere, so I'm always lounging passenger side.)

So it was perfect that the day after we got engaged, we went to Canoe Bay. Canoe Bay is the only Relais & Châteaux property in the Midwest, which basically means it's amazing. I was lucky enough to be invited to check out the property for the magazine where I work, and Ben had called ahead to book massages and to tell them we'd just gotten engaged (not that they wouldn't have taken care of us anyway; from what I could see, every guest is treated like a VIP).

Canoe Bay is six hours from Chicago, a few miles outside the small town of Chetek, Wisconsin, and it's basically designed for couples who want to get away from it all. Our amazing Frank Lloyd Wright-inspired house (yes, house) had an Emperor bed, even larger than a king, and a bathroom complete with a sauna, a two-headed steam shower, and a huge tub. The light-filled living room led out to an "infinity deck" overlooking a field and a lake, and the whole place is wired for sound. We checked out a selection of Van Morrison, Frank Sinatra and "lazy day jazz" from the front desk. Perfection.

Even better, breakfast is delivered each morning at a pre-appointed time, lunch can be ordered and delivered as well and dinners are served in the property's Inn, which overlooks the lake. (Our first night at dinner, a baby and a mama deer were grazing in the field next to the water.) The majority of the food is locally-sourced and organic and some even comes from the property's own garden. We ate everything from pork loin with a whipped sweet potatoes and a cherry glaze to Canoe Bay S'Mores with homemade marshmallows. Bottom line: delish. The wine selection was fab, too.

Add in a three-mile hiking trail, a private library divided by category (think "art and architecture," "memoirs," "American fiction"... I swoon), and a beautiful, sunny day, and we were in heaven.

So while our little engagement-moon definitely skewed to the luxe end, I have decided that getting away from it all after the question is popped is a must. Of the approximately 20 hours between proposal and arriving at the resort, I would estimate we spent about 8 hours each talking, texting, etc, and another 8 sleeping, leaving us very little time alone and focused on each other. Getting away from our cell phones was the best thing we could have done for each other. It gave us a chance to celebrate not only our engagement but the reasons we decided we wanted to marry each other.

The date!

2009-06-01T08:55:00.001-07:00

Way before I even met Ben, I knew I wanted to get married in Bloomington, Indiana. Although I grew up in Lafayette and quite happily live in Chicago, Bloomington has always felt like home to me. My grandparents have lived there their entire lives, my mom grew up there and our whole family attended Indiana University. To me, there's just something magical about the campus—the limestone buildings, the Sample Gates, Dunn Meadow and the winding, tree-lined paths between the Union and Third Street.

The biggest draw, however, is the church where both my grandparents and parents were married. Ben proposed on my grandmother's 88th birthday, a few months after my grandfather's 91st, and next year, my grandparents will be celebrating 65 years of marriage. My parents were married at First United almost 40 years ago (they were babies when they tied the knot, but they're still going strong).

So picking a location for our wedding ceremony was easy. The reception was a little trickier, since we have a lot of friends and family and needed a space big enough to hold them. Alumni Hall at the Union was recommended by my mom's lifelong friend, Susan—a devoted Bloomington girl still—and it fits the bill: big, great stage and bareboned enough that we can transform it into the summery, flower-filled space I'm dreaming about.

So the only thing left to do was pick the date. I know getting married on holiday weekends is a bit controversial, but I've always liked the idea. Ben's family and the majority of our friends will be traveling the four hours from Chicago, so an extra day off sounds like a good deal. I wanted a holiday weekend during the summer, when the students would be away from campus. (Most of my friends went to IU and are excited to revist their college days at our favorite old haunts, but we're all too old and high-maintenance know to battle 21-year-olds for bar stools!)

So, with that in mind, Ben and I have decided to get married on July 3, 2010. Let the planning begin!

We're engaged!!

2009-06-01T08:19:00.001-07:00

On Thursday, May 28, at approximately 7:05PM, after approximately 2 years and 3 months of dating, Ben and I got engaged!! It was the perfect proposal—sweet, emotional, authentic and even somewhat silly (neither of us could stop giggling).

I had been hinting (and by hinting, I mean blatantly telling him, slipping him Tiffany & Co. cards with my preferred styles and ring size, and so much more. Poor guy...) that I was ready for the next step, and after much serious conversation—plus reading multiple "are you ready for marriage?" books and questioning every happily married couple we know—I could tell the big question was coming soon.

Thursday was a crazy day for both of us. I had meetings all afternoon and was running all over the city, and Ben had a meeting in the burbs and thought he wouldn't be home until around 8. (We had plans to go to dinner afterward.) So, why the signs were pointing to a proposal—we were leaving the next morning for a romantic weekend away—I wasn't getting my hopes up too much.

I was driving home from my last event a little before 7 when Ben called to say he was already at my house. I walked up the stairs and opened the door to find him on one knee. He nervously blurted out "Will you marry me?" and after recovering from the shock of absolutely no build up to the big question, I said, "Of course!" and then made him ask me again! It was too good not to hear twice. He gave me a sweet letter after I had said "yes" again; then we popped open a bottle of champagne and called everyone we love.

It was a wonderful, overwhelming, happy night, followed by two days in Wisconsin's Canoe Bay, the perfect place to celebrate an engagement: no cell service, amazing rooms, food, wine and surroundings, no need to make any decisions other than whether we wanted to enjoy our in-room sauna or take a hike around the lake and through the hills. Heaven.

While the retreat was wonderful (and probably necessary before the wedding planning hoopla begins in earnest), I have to say the best part of getting engaged is the outpouring of love and support that comes with it. Within an hour of our engagement, we had received phone calls, text messages, emails and, yes, lots of Facebook posts from pretty much everyone who loves us. It is such a wonderful feeling to have so many people celebrate our happiness. We are very blessed to have amazing friends and incredibly supportive parents, and I can't wait for the next year leading up to the wedding. Ben, on the other hand, was done with the planning talk about 30 minutes into our drive—although he has a lot of opinions about music and booze. Yes, I am marrying a real guy. And I can't wait!!